I have been thinking a lot lately about what sort of lessons and values to teach my kids.
Right now, my eldest daughter is now 3 ½, and I have a second baby girl who is now 6 months old.
Kids need to learn how to deal with the hardships and complexities of life. My little girls will go out into the world with a barrage of ideas and ideologies impinging upon them at every turn.
I believe that what my kids will learn from school, the workplace, and everyday life will be at best incomplete; at worst, wrong and misleading.
And what they learn from the Internet… well, let’s just say that I want my kids to have the strong stuff to withstand the crazy and confusing that lives on the Web.
I do not want to leave anything to chance with regard to what my kids need to learn to tackle the challenges of life. Thus I’ve been thinking long and hard about what lessons and values I want to teach my kids so that they can live happily and meaningfully.
On Lessons to Teach Kids
Ever play old school 2D platforming video games? The goal is to go from left to right on a scrolling screen, where you try to make your digital avatar jump, stomp, and punch his way past enemies to the next level. Well, sometimes there’s a shortcut which can allow your pixelated character to skip past several levels so that you can finish the game much, much faster.
There are shortcuts in life as well. Sometimes these shortcuts are based on a person’s immutable initial conditions, such as genetics or winning the silver spoon lottery. But more oftentimes, the shortcut manifests as an invaluable lesson.
Such lessons are sometimes learned through trial-and-error, and sometimes by sheer stupid luck. But other times invaluable lessons are imparted from one person to another.
A truly wise person learns from other people’s successes and failures.
I’d like my kids to be truly wise. I’ve lived a while in this world and have had my ups and downs. I know that if I can impart these lessons that I’ve learned to my children then they can blast through many of life’s challenges comparatively more easily.
On Values for Kids
I don’t believe schools should be the source for teaching values to kids. I think that schools should teach math, reading, writing, history, and other academic topics–but certainly not values. This runs the risk of radicalized teachers indoctrinating young children with crazy ideas.
Lately I have read much about educational institutions—from primary school to university—attempting to indoctrinate kids and young adults to values that are antithetical to classical Western liberal ideals. Schools should be teaching kids how to think, not what to think.
Values are core beliefs that guide how a person acts over a lifetime.
Say you value money above all things. Your actions will naturally gravitate you towards the acquisition and growth of money, perhaps at the exclusion of all else. This sort of superficial pursuit leads to remarkably unhappy people.
On the other hand, say one of your many healthy core values is to have strong relationships. Many of your actions will be directed towards the acquisition and growth of relationships. Having healthy relationships reduces stress, enhances the quality of life, and even extends a person’s lifespan.
Values for kids should be taught at home by parents who unambiguously and whole-heartedly want the best for their children.
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50 Things I’m Teaching My Kids
So, I’ll be working on something over the next year or so.
I will be releasing a blog post and a podcast episode approximately once a week dealing with a lesson or a value that I will be teaching my young children.
I am calling this series “50 Things I’m Teaching My Kids”.
These are the lessons and values that I wish I was taught at a young age. Lessons and values that I want to pass on to my own kids so that they have an advantage in life.
The reason why I’m embarking on this project is because I’m in a pretty good place in life. I want to get down on paper how I got to where I’m at. I’ve got two beautiful daughters and have a solid relationship with my wife. I have many family and friends. I have an enriching career as a radiation oncology physicist as well as a side gig writing this blog and my books.
At a personal level, working on this project will hopefully elucidate my core values and my most important lessons so that I can pass that along to my children.
Eventually, that is. My kids are only three and zero years old right now. I’ve got some time to sort this out.
So, next week I’ll kick it off with “Thing #1”. Hope you will join me in this project as it evolves. As always, please contact me in the comments below or in the contact form.
-Anthony Kim